Keeganxiety

Fan. Tastic.

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 00:03:53 -0700

Fan. Tastic.

jeffreyoverstreet: “Hide in your swamp I must, young amphibian....

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 23:17:41 -0700

jeffreyoverstreet:

“Hide in your swamp I must, young amphibian. Seeking me for more lousy movies, George Lucas is.”

I totally showed him this. *fingerguns*

I acquired many books at the Seattle Public Library book sale...

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 23:27:14 -0700

I acquired many books at the Seattle Public Library book sale today, but I’m pretty sure this one, which I got for my friend Ezra, is the clear winner.

Hi, Tumblr! Sorry I’m neglecting you. I remembered I had a wordpress. I’ll try to be...

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 22:26:01 -0700

Hi, Tumblr! Sorry I’m neglecting you. I remembered I had a wordpress. I’ll try to be more supportive of you from now on.

I’m a pretty lax Christian. Honestly, most days if I can...

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 23:30:43 -0800

I’m a pretty lax Christian. Honestly, most days if I can get away with being a good person without advertising that I believe Christ died for my sins, I’ll do it. Stuff like this (and some pretty hurtful things said by friends who won’t be named but happen to rhyme with Shmandrew Shminley) is why.

cincodenada:

jesuslovesdesign:

Why are Christians so…

Found at @JesusNeedsNewPR

Also depressing: “Christianity is _________”

Pulled up fresh today.

mysoultokeep: My little mac has an organic quality I’ve never...

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 21:50:45 -0800

mysoultokeep:

My little mac has an organic quality I’ve never seen in a PC. And that’s why I like him.

This is my new friend Kristen. She thinks the thoughts that I think but never thought to think. She’s pretty nifty (for a girl (which makes her super nifty, because girls are already nifty (HA! (surprise reverse sexism!)))).

The new face of karaoke. Isn’t it all of the sexiness?

Sat, 06 Nov 2010 23:36:15 -0700

The new face of karaoke. Isn’t it all of the sexiness?

Jorge hates moderates.

Sat, 06 Nov 2010 23:33:38 -0700

Jorge hates moderates.

Keeganxieties

Fri, 01 Oct 2010 23:24:27 -0700

Considering how stressed I’ve been these past couple of weeks, I fear I have not been living up to my subtitle. For those not in the know (which is to say, none of you), I’m now in Seattle, working in Kent, trying to find an apartment, all while dealing with a car that decided to crap out on me at the end of my second day of work. It got “fixed”, by which I mean, jury rigged to run on a screwdriver and some positive emotions, only to get rear ended this morning by a kid in a Camry.

Car shopping is in the books for this weekend.

However, since the Jeep (my beloved steed) is undriveable, I’m spending the night with my mom at my aunt and uncle’s new house.

So we come around to the real point of this post.

A long time ago, in an episode of Boy Meets World, Cory joins Topanga for a night of babysitting, and the only advice the father of the child imparts on our titular Boy is that he needs to take a nap on the couch. Because it is so comfortable, you could die on that couch.

I remember this episode, which is really all I remember about Boy Meets World, because for years that has remained my standard by which I have judged all couches.

My aunt and uncle’s couch, where I am writing this, is one of the highest ranking couches I have ever encountered. And only now do I realize how voraciously I would follow a blog or journal written by a couch surfer who reviews not towns or cities or sights or food, but the couches on which he spends his nights.

Keegemployment

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:05:31 -0700

So, I got a job. Well, according to my employers, Literacy*Americorps and the Multi-Service Center of Federal Way, it’s more of a calling, but I’m just trying to think of it as a job, so as to not go batshit crazy.

I get overwhelmed by the future sometimes.

However, it also means I might actually have things to start writing about. Let’s see how that works out, shall we?

After the move, of course.

Keegle Chrome

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:26:30 -0700

Here’s a character analysis game for you: Google Chrome does a handy job of remembering what websites you visit often, even taking notes from text messaging and auto-filling in urls based on the first letter. Let’s alphabetize, and in the process, learn a little something about me.

A: adultswim.com Well that makes sense.

B: bestbuy.com A new addition. I was filling out job applications (again) yesterday.

C: comicbookresources.com I generally check this every Wednesday for comic book reviews.

D: dresdencodak.com A very pretty webcomic by a local Portland artist Aaron Diaz.

E: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page Speaks for itself. I am not French.

F: facebook.com You were probably alerted to this tumbl via this website. It is endemic.

G: gmail.com Suddenly I feel very common.

H: hulu.com You’re going to see a trend in this vein. Just you wait.

I: io9.com Do you enjoy science fictiony things? Not unless you frequent this website you don’t!

J: Nothing. However, Jim’s Pancakes does show up in the history, despite the fact that I went there once about four months ago. Oddly enough, Jobdango doesn’t.

K: kotaku.com The video game version of io9, which is to say, these are gawker websites.

L: lmgtfy.com Do you enjoy being a snarky ass when your friends ask you for internet help? Then this website is for you.

M: mspaintadventures.com Another fantastic webcomic, this one by nonlocal artist Andrew Hussie. It is an obsession of mine.

N: ninjavideo.net I need a new N. This one’s defunct.

O: Zilch. Recommendations?

P: portland.craigslist.com See, one would expect Penny Arcade, but job hunting does weird things to a man and his internet.

Q: Questionablecontent.com WEBCOMIC! By Jeph Jacques. Totally met that guy once.

R: rs.4chan.org No comment. I’ve never downloaded anything illegally. That would be illegal.

S: sidereel.com More TV. Apparently I hate commercials. Notable, the term “steve guttenberg” also pops up as part of my search history. Wouldn’t you like to know why? (Not really. I just saw him on something and wanted to know what he was up to these days.)

T: tweetmeharder.com The podcast by wonderful webcomic creators/animators/talkers david malki ! and Kris Straub. You might remember this from my guest appearance as a guy eating horrible things with them.

U: urbandictionary.com I’m actually surprised. Not that I visit so many websites that start with the letter U, but because I don’t have this bookmarked and for the life of me I cannot remember when the last time I visited this site was.

V: vgcats.com A rather amusing webcomic by Scott Ramsoomir that updates about once every four months. It’s very disappointing.

W: watch-series.com/serie/futurama That’s more like it. I’m watched every episode of the series via this site, except for “Jurassic Bark”, the episode with Fry’s dog, because it’s just too sad.

X: xbox.com I recently had to frequent this site in order to coordinate the repair of my console. I know. So exciting.

Y: youtube.com Ugh. Eeeeeuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Z: NOTHING! What a disappointing end!

In conclusion, I think we’re all shocked there wasn’t more pornography.

Keegan Police

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 02:31:15 -0700

That’s a pun on “Vegan Police”. See, I usually title my entries with a terrible, terrible pun on my name. The Vegan Police in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, played excellently (and uncreditedly) by Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr., are the the best random cameos in any movie of the past decade. Do you get it yet? Don’t worry if you don’t. It’s high comedy.

I am an artist.

I’ve heard a lot of disbelief that someone who is not a huge fan of the the Scott Pilgrim books could enjoy the movies, even though the fact that this movie got financed means that a lot of people were willing to bet against that, and I’m proof that it’s possible.

SPvTW is, in almost every way, better than the books it on which it is based. Sure, there are a some character beats that got edited out for the sake of expediency (I particularly missed Scott’s ex Envy’s second appearance, where she basically lays out that he’s a lot more of a shithead than he realizes. I also missed Ramona’s ex Gideon’s own seven ex-girlfriends, and Knives’ dad), but really, everything this movie needed to squeeze in, it did, and with aplomb.

It’s a weird feeling, that this movie somehow captured the essence and energy of the story, while the book series it’s adapted from somehow didn’t, but it’s true. This movie feels alive in a way the comics never did. Why? Because of the amazing direction of Edgar Wright, and the career-making performances of absolutely every cast member. But broad strokes.

BROAD REDUCTIVE REASONS THIS MOVIE IS BETTER THAN THOSE BOOKS.

1. Dare I go so far as to blame color? I do. Scott Pilgrim is a largely black and white series (except for a few pages at the start of book… four, I think, which is the sickest tease you could possibly pull, but it’s a staple of manga volumes, so of course O’Malley did it too), and it was a bad design decision from the get go. Full of strange dreamscapes and ethereal glowing heads, SP deserves, and benefits from, vibrant, lively color. I’m not saying monochrome is lacking in any fashion, it’s just a mismatch to the style of the story being told, and the universe in which these characters live.

Unless it’s a commentary on the bleakness of Toronto, in which case it’s perfectly apt.

2. Fucking music. I bitched about this plenty after reading the first volume (scroll down and look to the right), and it rings especially true after having seen the movie. For all of its trappings, Scott Pilgrim is the story of a boy who, having met a girl he really likes, eventually realizes that he still has a lot of growing up to do. But it’s also a musical story. Every character is part of a band, concerts act as massive battles/moments of self realization, and Scott Pilgrim himself owes his name to the titular song by Plumtree. Music is in the soul of this story, and while the lines and letters emanating from amps and instruments work well to augment the sounds we’re hearing at the same time, in the books it comes across merely as a limitation of the medium.

Not to mention the sound effects. Not the visual “Thock”s and “Bam”s, which work well in either case, I mean the tiny recognizable audio cues from long beloved video games. It’s just one more level of reference that O’Malley simply isn’t able to tap into, and it works so well. Hearing the lullaby-esque melody from Zelda’s Great Fairy fountains when Scott is daydreaming about Ramona tells you just how magical he thinks she is, and Chris Evans’ Lucas Lee walking into the scene accompanied by the Universal Studios logo music (which we’ve already heard an 8-bit version of when the movie started) is flat out one of the funniest moments in the movie.

I have more reasons, but it occurs to me that they might be less reductive. Give me a chance to sleep on it and we’ll see where we go from there.

"Are heart and hard sci-fi mutually exclusive? One word answer: Cocoon."

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 16:19:27 -0700

“Are heart and hard sci-fi mutually exclusive? One word answer: Cocoon.”

- Steve Guttenberg

Keegfession No. 1

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 13:40:06 -0700

There is a fierce and dark temptation in me to turn every social network outlet at my disposal into nothing more than a series of Futurama quotes.

"One thing I know about danger is that it’s mostly ghosts. I’m so worried about ghosts that for me,..."

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:11:18 -0700

“One thing I know about danger is that it’s mostly ghosts. I’m so worried about ghosts that for me, every day is Black History Month.”

- Seanbaby

That Sheezy Be Heavy

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 04:13:54 -0700

Job hunting has a detrimental effect on my writing, I’ve noticed. So does wanting to spend my free time (surprisingly precious as it is) reading Jasper Fforde novels. Thanks a lot, Emily.

The other free time sucking devil boxes in my lives (a.k.a., the Xbox and the Playstaon) have had their say in the matter as well. The ‘box, in protest of my not turning it on in two months, decided to Red Ring for the second time in its miserable life when I tried to change that last week. It’s currently in rehab.

The PlayStation, though, that punk is insistent.

So let’s talk about Heavy Rain.

Spoiler alert.

I know it’s been a while since the game came out, so the odds are I have nothing to add to the discussion. But if we can still be writing papers on Byron and Coleridge as if there is more to be added on their dusty corpses, then I can roll the dice on a video game that’s only half a year old.

Part of me wants to take back calling it a video game in that last sentence with the painfully wrought gambling metaphor. Quantic Dream, the French studio that developed the game, refers to it exclusively as “interactive drama”. In fact, the only Trophy the game spoonfeeds you (as opposed to making you earn it, or reflecting a choice you made in the game’s story) is called “Interactive Drama”, and is essentially a thank you for playing. Heavy Rain isn’t a video game, not really. It’s interactive drama. A visual novel. This is a genre that, for the most part, doesn’t really exist outside of Japan, and even then, not too often outside of porn.

But this is a good, solid, Western visual novel, because how else are you going to describe it, or define the gameplay? I hesitate to say “pressing buttons at the right time”, with occasional spurts of being able to move around (as gracefully as a pregnant tank, however), because really, that’s the gaming experience at its most derivative, and I enjoy the experience and value it too much to go there. So let’s say it’s a melding of the point-and-click adventure games of old, and the quick time events of more recent days.

A lot has been said about how beautiful and artful and majestic as a gazelle this game is. I agree. So majestic. It’s a compelling story, told well, and hopefully the first of a new breed of video game, and a new way to tell a story. But I don’t write as well when I’m being positive about something as I do when I’m being a pessimistic, negative shit, so how exactly did those Frenchies actually screw the pooch on this one?

I’ll tell you, because I’m the one with the keyboard: Ethan Mars. Ethan (pictured above) is the game’s primary protagonist—it is his son who has been kidnapped in the Origami Killer’s latest scheme, while the other three are all investigators of one kind or another—and one of the laziest red herrings I’ve ever read, seen, or played (not written, though—I’ve written worse).

Over and over, we’re basically told that, in no uncertain terms, Ethan is the Origami Killer. Between the prologue, where we see the Mars family in all their domestic bliss, and his first real chapter of the game, Ethan’s life has gone completely to hell, or worse, inner city Baltimore. One of his sons is killed by a reckless driver who also sends him into a six-month coma, his marriage has fallen apart, he’s moved into a shitty little house.

More importantly to the purposes of this petty little rant, Ethan now suffers from prolonged blackouts. Perfectly understandable, considering the coma and the PTSD and the so forth. Less understandable is that when he comes to after these blackouts, he’s standing in the middle of a city street, holding an origami figure in his hand.

Which only really makes sense if he’s the Origami Killer, right? He’s committing his crimes during the blackouts, because another personality takes over? I mean, it’s enough to convince Ethan himself.

Later, his British-for-no-reason-other-than-the-actress-couldn’t-hide-her-accent ex-wife is seen at the police station, reporting not only on Ethan’s blackouts, but also the fact that he would often murmur about drowned bodies in his sleep.

But that makes sense, because he’s the Origami Killer. It’s all part of the story.

Except that it turns out he’s not, because that’s how detective writing works. Your expectations must be toyed with, despite you expecting to have your expectations toyed with. Don’t read that sentence.

In due time, and with the adequate sense of revelation, we learn the real identity of the Origami Killer, and while I don’t care that much about hiding who it is, the only thing that matters is that it’s not Ethan Mars.

Except that Ethan Mars still blacks out and comes to in the middle of city intersections holding origami figures, and has apparently been talking about drowning bodies in his sleep since the car crash that killed his son. Those facts don’t go away just because you’ve told us who the real killer is. You still need to account for that behavior. If you don’t, then it’s not misdirection, it’s simply lying.

Keegan Blackler's Precious Little Review

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 13:11:53 -0700

Because no one reads this who isn’t also a friend of mine on Facebook, you already know that last night I caved and read the first volume of the Scott Pilgrim series Bryan Lee O’Malley, titled Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life.

My gut reaction is that for all of its attempts to create it, this series lacks energy. There is a dearth of it, even. Without color, and without SOUND (more on that in a second), this just does not feel very alive. It’s like O’Malley took all the trappings of manga—instead of learning any lessons about what makes it work—and slapped them on as a way to attract an audience. Even the volumes are split up into the same chapters you’d find in a manga collection (except don’t those chapters exist because that’s how they were first released in their respective anthologies?). Either way, it exudes Trying Too Hard.

Let’s talk about music now: It’s stupid. Sorry. Novels, graphic or otherwise, about music, are stupid. I’ve read too many shitty student short stories that substituted actual character growth with lyrics from a song. You want to know what’s nice about reading lyrics to a song you don’t know? NOTHING. Nothing is nice about that! It’s why nobody gives a taintcrushing fuck about Dazzler! So a graphic novel with big musical numbers? It doesn’t work. It’ll never work. Stop trying.

I like the premise, I will say that. O’Malley has crafted a nifty little universe where Canada is so backwards they don’t know how to utilize subspace highways, and people turn into coins when they’re defeated (also, how bullshit is it that Scott’s super fighting ability is never referenced at all until he’s suddenly beating the crap out of the first Evil Ex? I don’t know if that’s supposed to be funny, but it comes off as lazy). It’s a great concept with terrible execution, which is why I’m still excited to see the movie even after reading it.

Keeginterrupted

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:22:42 -0700

Sometimes I get the urge to write about girls, and maybe even sex, but self-confidence issues tend to cripple me on both accounts! Thanks, not-entirely-but-still-sufficiently-repressive Christian upbringing!

I’m fairly capable of talking about such things to people who aren’t directly affects (read: people I’m not attracted to), but oftentimes, especially now that I’m back in Portland, I feel like the hypothetical 12-year-old girl who hasn’t gotten her period yet.

*here is where Keegan saved this as a draft because he got called away to talk to a woman, and now that she’s gone to bed, he can’t really convince himself to continue with this train of emotionally masturbatory thought. Still, the 12-year-old girl thing was too good to delete.*

So….. good night, readers!

… Meredith Gran’s rhino, whose pacifism does not...

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:54:51 -0700

… Meredith Gran’s rhino, whose pacifism does not stop him from being passive-aggressive.

This is Malki!’s rhino, which is super sweet, but compare...

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:46:54 -0700

This is Malki!’s rhino, which is super sweet, but compare to…